Lydia the Tattooed Lady

Written by Elaina R. Bergamini

Monday, 22 August 2005

I had forgotten how good the Muppet Show was until we got the first season on DVD. I have fond memories of watching the Muppet Show with my family, after bath-time, in my footed pajamas, with a fire crackling away in the fireplace. It was fun to relive some of that this weekend after a hard day's work installing solar panels (oof). We sat down to dinner and watched a show through the eyes of an (almost) adult, approaching 30. This morning, I was awoken at 5 am by the voice of Kermit singing the lyrics to "Lydia The Tatooed Lady" in my head. In the interest of removing it from my skull, I submit the lyrics. Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia? Lydia The Tattooed Lady. She has eyes that folks adore so, and a torso even more so. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo. On her back is The Battle of Waterloo. Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too. And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue. You can learn a lot from Lydia! La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world, if you step up and tell her where. For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree, or Washington crossing The Delaware. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia? Lydia The Tattooed Lady. When her muscles start relaxin', up the hill comes Andrew Jackson. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of them all. For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz, with a view of Niagara that nobody has. And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz. You can learn a lot from Lydia! La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso. Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso. Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon. Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Here is Grover Whelan unveilin' The Trilon. Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on. Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba. Here's her social security numba. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Champ of them all. She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet. The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat. And now the old boy's in command of the fleet, for he went and married Lydia! I said Lydia... (He said Lydia...) They said Lydia... We said Lydia, la, la!

Last Updated ( Monday, 22 August 2005 )